


Things Left Unsaid

by emperorpenguin (dortmundbvbbabe)



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Future Fic, M/M, Post-Trade
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-01
Updated: 2016-10-01
Packaged: 2018-08-17 14:28:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8147437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dortmundbvbbabe/pseuds/emperorpenguin
Summary: Elias has had a crush on Jeff as long as he's known the boy, but too bad he didn't heed Eric Staal's warning that Jeff would one day leave the Canes. Much to Elias's surprise, Jeff announces on locker clean out day that he won't be returning next season. It turns out they both had things that they should have said but didn't. After half a summer Jeff goes to Sweden to try and talk to Elias, but the damage in their relationship is already done, could they ever repair what they had, or maybe make it into something better?





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Louhi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Louhi/gifts).



> First time writing these two, but I really love them and Elias is one of my favorites. I hope you enjoy and that it filled your prompt <3

Elias is pulled aside by Eric shortly after he meets Jeff Skinner. “Enjoy it while it lasts, I don’t know how long he’ll be here.” Heeding Eric’s warning, Elias tamped down the warm feelings that he had been feeling for Jeff and stuffed them in a box in the back of his mind that said “Do not open.”

At first, Elias tries to avoid Jeff. Not obviously so, but enough so that when the day comes and Jeff does leave, he won’t be destroyed. Jeff’s been with the Canes for three years already when Elias arrives and 

The box in Elias’s head doesn’t stay shut. No matter how hard he tried, Elias couldn’t stave off Jeff’s efforts to worm his way into his heart. There’s nothing to dislike about Jeff and that’s the problem, because in a matter of weeks Jeff goes from a teammate to Elias’s best friend and then in only takes a year for Elias’s crush to turn into full blown love.

It’s easy to ignore the temptations to just lean over on all their movie nights and kiss Jeff, but Jeff has made it perfectly clear that he has a crush on their great captain. Of course both of them know that it won’t go anywhere. Eric’s married and has kids, but Jeff has this fantasy- a fantasy that he shares with Elias after he comes out. Elias supposed that that would have been good to disclose his own bisexuality, but he wanted to avoid the follow-up question asking if he liked anyone. He wasn’t going to be certain that he could lie to Jeff then. 

 

Then that day that Eric warned him about all those years ago comes along. Jeff’s contract was up in the summer and rumors had been circulating that Jeff was going to sign with the Penguins or the Blackhawks. Elias had hinted at the topic several times, hoping that Jeff would at least give him a hint at what he was thinking about doing, but Jeff never shows his hand. 

But on the day they’re cleaning out their lockers, Jeff clears his throat, “Sorry, I just, I have something to say.”

Someone yells for everyone to shut up and they all look to Jeff. Before he says anything, though, Elias  _ knows _ . Elias knows that Jeff is leaving. It was smart to wait until it was certain that they weren’t going to be in the playoffs. Jeff could have announced it earlier if that was what he wanted but he waited until it was all done. 

“I wanted to say how grateful I am to have been a part of the Canes for so long. As some of you might know my contract is going to end this summer and I decided not to renew it. It’s not a reflection of any of you or my experience being here, but I just decided that it’s 

Most of the players gave half-hearted wishes of good luck to Jeff, but Elias was frozen in place. 

“Did you know?” Ryan asked and Elias could only just shake his head. Jeff watched him, waiting for some sort of reaction, but Elias just felt as though the floor had dropped out from under him. He scurried to grab the remainder of his things, shove them in his bag and leave the locker room. 

“Elias!” He heard Eddie call after him, but Elias just put up his hand and stopped him.

“Not now, Eddie,” he rattled off in Swedish. He saw Jeff running towards them in the background, but just glared at him.

 

Jeff had stopped by his apartment several times in the remaining few days Elias was spending in North Carolina. His phone had been ringing almost non-stop with concerned text messages from teammates and family members and Jeff just begging him to talk, so after a while Elias just turned his phone off. He didn’t know who he was more angry with himself or Jeff. Jeff had just treated him like any other teammate and even though Elias knew that Jeff didn’t think of him the same way, he had thought that they were best friends. Worse yet, he knew that his time was up. He had had all these years to tell Jeff that he’d loved him, but had been too scared and comfortable in the guise of friendship to challenge their relationship and he had done nothing so maybe he was just as at fault for the way that things turned out as Jeff was. 

 

Sweden was supposed to be a reprieve for Elias, but it wasn’t. The fact that he’d return to a Canes team without Jeff there weighed over him. He had decided to stay with his parents although he had bought his own place a few years ago and thankfully neither his mother or father pressed the issue. 

Jeff had been calling and texting him all summer and a part of Elias wanted to reply to them, but another part- the vindictive part wanted Jeff to feel a fraction of the pain that he was feeling. Mostly, he just didn’t know what he would say. 

There was a knock on the front door about a month into summer and his parents are out doing errands so Elias answered. He had expected someone asking for directions or to support some local cause, but instead he saw Jeff standing awkwardly on his step.

“Hey,” Jeff said.

“Hi,” Elias replied, stunned that he had come. 

“You had said that I was always welcome to come visit you here during the summers, I was hoping that that offer was still valid.”  
“Yeah, yeah, come on in,” Elias said as he pushed the door open further. 

Jeff hovered in the foyer looking like he wanted to hug Elias, but didn’t, “You didn’t answer my calls.”

“Well, you didn’t want to talk earlier,” Elias snapped.

“I wanted to talk to you,” Jeff said, gently reached out for Elias’s hand. 

“I had to find out like everyone else, me, your supposed best friend. I was blindsided and I shouldn’t have been.”

“Elias,” Jeff whined, “I didn’t know how to tell you.”  
“You pull me aside and tell me. And it’s so ridiculous because I had feelings for you, and you didn’t even treat me like a friend.”  
“Feelings?” Jeff asked. “What are you talking about?”  
Elias shrugged, “‘s not important now.”  
“Elias, tell me.”  
“What? Tell you that I was in love with you? Just like how you told me you were leaving?” 

“You’re in love with me?” Jeff asked.

“It doesn’t matter now. You’re going to be gone next season,” Elias said.

“Of course it matters, why didn’t you tell me?”  
“You have a crush on Eric, you never liked me like that,” Elias said.

“It’s a crush. He’s married, he has kids, and you had girlfriends,” Jeff said.

“I’m  _ bi _ . Didn’t you ever wonder why they never lasted long? It was because I was hung up on you.”

“I didn’t- I’m sorry, I didn’t know,” Jeff said and Elias couldn’t bear to look at the genuine chagrin on Jeff’s face.

“I know, you were never meant to know,” Elias said, trying to absolve Jeff of the guilt he knew his friend was facing. “But let’s just forget about it and I’ll show you around, okay?”   
  


They tried to get through the rest of the week pretending that Jeff didn’t know about Elias’s unrequited feelings. Elias introduced him to his childhood friends, showed him around town and introduced him to Swedish foods. He had hoped that they could have done this as boyfriends, but it was nice nonetheless. Neither of them talked about the impending trade or Elias’s feelings and for that week they could both pretend that nothing had changed between them. On the last night before Jeff was set to return, Elias and he sat outside and drank some beers. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Elias asked.

Jeff sighed and for a long time Elias didn’t think that he was going to answer. 

“I didn’t want to see the look on your face, and I didn’t want you to try and convince me to stay and above all else, I didn’t want to hurt you,” Jeff said.

“It probably hurt more that you didn’t tell me,” Elias said.

“I know now. I’m sorry you know, about how it all went down,” Jeff said, “And I’m sorry about, well, the other thing, too.”  
Elias shrugged, “You can’t help how you feel.”

“I just wish we had tried sooner, I could have-”

“Don’t go there,” Elias said, “We’ll meet up in Chicago next and we’ll be friends and grab a beer after, okay?”

“Okay,” Jeff said.

He got up and gently pressed a kiss to Elias’s cheek. The spot where his lips touched almost seared Elias’s skin, but he was grateful for this one chance to pretend like they are more than friends.

 

The wounds of the summer heal and Elias only felt a dull ache when he returned to Canes training camp and Jeff wasn’t there. He gradually stopped looking for Jeff in the locker room and stopped wanting to text him to grab lunch together. They still talked on occasion, but not like before. Their relationship had permanently changed. The Canes played against the Blackhawks early on in the season and Jeff and Elias shared a tentative hug went they first saw each other.

 

The Canes lose 3-1 and Elias just felt tired. He just wanted to leave the rink, leave the city and try to suppress the feelings that seeing Jeff again had aroused. He waddled towards the locker room trying not to think about how it felt to hug Jeff again. 

“You should go for it,” a voice said from behind. Elias turned to see Jonathan Toews following him. “You really fucked with his head,” Toews said as he cornered Elias. “And I thought that you had done it on purpose, to hurt him like he hurt you all by leaving, but now I think you’re just as gone for him as he is for you.”

“What?”  
“I don’t think he realized it at first, but you were all he could talk about when he first came,” Toews said.

“He doesn’t like me like that.”

“Just keep telling yourself that, if it makes you feel better, but maybe it’s easier now to say what you want now that you’re no longer in the same city,” Toews said before gently punching Elias’s shoulder and then heading off to his dressing room.

 

_ Can I stop by your place?  _ Elias asked after he’d showered and changed.

A reply followed shortly after with Jeff’s new address.

Elias took a cab there, it was only about a ten minute ride from the rink and was buzzed in almost immediately.

“Hey,” Elias said.

“I wasn’t sure if you wanted to come, I’d have waited for you if I knew,” Jeff said.

“I didn’t know that I was coming,” Elias said. “Um, I had an interesting conversation with your captain… He said that you were in love with me. Is it- is it true?”

Jeff exhaled loudly, “Yes, but I just realized it after I left. I guess this is what they mean by saying ‘distance makes the heart grow fonder’. I didn’t know in Sweden, I should have known or realized it, but just when I was here and getting playing time and getting to be the type of player that I always wanted to be, but I missed you being next to me.”

“You could have called and told me,” Elias said.

“I didn’t want to be cruel,” Jeff said, “I didn’t want to hurt you more than I already did. I didn’t want to stop you from getting over me.”

Elias laughed bitterly, “Don’t you understand? I can’t get over you. You’re it for me. My feelings haven’t changed since the end of summer, since Sweden.”

“Really?” Jeff perked up.

“I’m crazy for you,” Elias said. He closed the space between them and kissed Jeff. It was slow and hesitant and obvious that Jeff hadn’t had too much experience, but at the same time, it was perfect. 

“So what now, since we’re not playing on the same team?” Jeff asked.

“Well, it’s a short plane ride,” Elias said, “And we won’t be in the playoffs this year, so maybe after the season’s over I can come up and visit. And there’s Skype and Facebook and maybe after your season’s over I can show you around Stockholm.”

“Yeah?” Jeff asked. “Well, I guess I’ll be heading to Sweden more often now.”

Elias smiled and knocked their heads together before kissing him again. There were still things left unsaid between them, but now they’d have time and maybe, just maybe, they’d have all the time in the world.

  
  
  



End file.
